The minute I worked it out, I knew I must try it out on my book.

So here is when freddie became jesus summarized:

“*Not every ball.

One ball.

Australia

England

England

Australia

England

Australia won 2-0.

England still lost. Australia won 2-1.

England won 2-0.

England

7 runs from 6 balls required.

Australia

England

Spin bowling

Australia were back.

England’s batting was patchy.

Australia had choked.

Australia were 1/17. Four balls.  Four fucking balls.  Freddie

Wickets. White Australia Team

Where Australia arrived in England

3186 test match runs.

Australia got 4 wickets with bouncers.

Australia were now 4/151.  Australia are 1/73.

England declare.  England set Australia 546 runs.  Iain O’Brien does play test cricket. England collapsed twice. England bowled Australia out at Lord’s. Australia bowled England out at Headingley. Australia 4, England 5.

Australia loses.”

This is a shit hot summary.  It starts with a great first line, then predicts who will dominate which Ashes test in correct order. Goes off on a tangent at times, puts in a line about Australia choking, announces that IOB does play test cricket and then finishes with a perfect ending.

I’m now pissed off I wrote a whole book, in 100 words Word got it right.

Not that I don’t have fans back home, but as far as getting work, mentions and love from the MSM Australia has shunned me really.

It has never really bothered me, but I have noticed it.

Recently though I got  bit of press in Australia, it wasn’t for me directly, but the age – my favourite aussie paper – did a small piece on test match sofa and they mentioned my name.

I was pretty happy, and I emailed the usual suspects to tell them to look out for it.

But, and this is what I never realised, when your name is in things like the age, other people notice.

And the person who noticed was my best friend when I was growing up.

We are now friends on facebook, as you do, and he was reading the sport section in the paper when he came across my name.

Now if he read it, so would people I don’t like.

I like the idea of this.

Some people would like to be honoured, I just wanna piss off all the assholes I never liked in the first place.

So, thank you the age, if you pissed off one person and educated my mate, then it was worth the printing cost.

It was an honour, I suppose.

To be on any list is cool, it means that someone has thought about how to fill the numbers and come across your little part of the net.

My only problem was that I was used as a template on how to monetize (what a terrible cunt of a word that is) your blog.

According to the site, “He knows how to monetize the blog. He promotes famous cricket books as an amazon affiliate.”

If I get a few pounds a month for that I would be surprised.

Then they say, “Earnings method – promoting books+ own products”.

My own products are so inconsistently bought that I think i owe cafe press money.

The way I get most of my money is through ads.

And even that isn’t a lot.

The real money I get is from people paying me to write on other sites after they have read cricket with balls.

I have no idea how to monetize the site.

Someone told me to try paypal donations, no one donated.

Others have told me google ads, but they are hardly worth dirtying your site with.

I’ve been offered to merge with other sites, but the deals always fall through.

I am a horror story for people trying to make money from blogging.

I honestly don’t believe that I will ever earn a living from cricket with balls, and that is ok.

As long as I get a bit from it, people keep hiring me to write other places and my books sell a little I will be fine.

Even if I never truly monetize.